September 2025

I couldn't think of anything else that is more random than my OWN actions. I didn't understand myself sometimes, like whaat?

Just how i live this life, and how my days going. Also, the decisions I took, the words that came from my mouth, 

Oh, and including the urge to write down my thoughts in this RANDOM blog that i made in 2016. 

Well, but i just love revisiting my own stories. 


So its exactly a year after I posted that previous article where I had such turnover in my relationship with my boyfriend; when the sparks was no longer there.

I remembered it all too well. That time his hands were cold holding mine.. that awkward laugh over the phone.. the meaningless "i love you"-s, and that meeting which I thought was going to be the last time I saw him. 

Also, never forget that conversation when I said "... what are we still doing tho? we're no longer having any feelings for each other, right?"

And you said, "I still have feelings for you. I will always have feelings for you."

Then I fell again. I fell in love again. Over and over again.


At this point I am sure that I'm stuck with him. But everything about him tho...; his kindness, his affection, his support for me, his words that warms my heart, every time.

I realized, he is one of the greatest things that ever happened to my life, and I would regret if I ever take him for granted.

Of course, fights and arguments still happened. The relationship was never always been smooth as f with no obstacles hahaha. Oh, we even almost said the word "over". 

But I swear to God. I was the one who couldn't last ten minutes accepting the reality that he's not my partner.

He's my significant other, my best friend, my soulmate. My protector, my love, my favorite human being... ever.

The warm home I always come back to..

I promised him to not cheat on him and vise-versa. To not seek comfort from anyone else other than each other.

That one sentence that gave me reassurance. Although I believe that nobody can control their heart and they're truly unpredictable.. but at least now I held his words and I don't have to overthink it. 

And yeah I apologized to him and told him everything I've done. I truly regret that time I turned my sight to that German boy. Even though it was only virtual, but yeah.. I swear to him I won't do such thing again.

I don't have any secrets to him no more. I really told him everything. Every single thing.

And earlier 2025, we got to a new step on our relationship.

And as the mid of 2025, we're celebrating our 6th anniversary.

I looked at him with so much light behind my eyes. I have decided to make him my husband one day. 

I hope he really is the one that meant for me.. my love, my life partner, whose name written beside mine centuries ago in Lauh Mahfuz.

I can only hope, but God will take care of the rest. But this one is one of my biggest hope.


Oh God, I really love that boy!! One of your most beautiful creatures. 

Let him be the father of my children please???

Let him live the rest of his life with me...

With many many years to come. To live healthily, happily, and successfully...

With lots of blessings, where our days will be filled by love, smile, and laughter

Where every time we woke up in the morning, we don't have to worry about money nor our safety... 

Just the wonderful morning se....


in 2026........!!!!!!!!!! #manifesting 


.... I just love you very much baby <3

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