enchanted

to: mom and dad. i love you. i adore you. i believe in love, seeing it through your eyes. you both have someone that will stay by your side,  no matter what happen. been through shit together. ups and downs together. including the struggle to have an asshole like me, wishing for her to be beneficial to the world. i could cry for hours regretting my behavior  i am so sorry i was a total loser..... i don't even know what i'm doing in this world. i'm a lost soul, i live under mental uncertainty. i am afraid of everything. afraid that one day i only gonna be a pain in the ass. but mom, dad, i was just 19 apologize for my 11-15 years old behavior. i'll be better, i'll be a grace for the entire universe even though sometimes i wish i only born as a flower instead but probably i'll be a flower that dad gives to my mom, when their little girl was a newborn baby. ... what ..? . - ad. 2020. global pandemic. wish for nothing but health, money, power, glory, good grades, cl...

everything about her. her smile, her laugh. her body, and her flaws can't think about her for a longer time. i might get lost in my daydreams.  dreaming about her — is a pain that has no end all day long, all night long. could think about her endlessly. i know can't have her, won't have her can't be with her but still, i love her endlessly........ she lives in my mind, rent free. please don't ever leave. -a, to: d ily.

 23/12/2020 today i woke up at 7.......... by an incoming call from my best best friend she said, "keep me" "don't let me go" "we live alongside each other.... you need me, and i am nothing without you..," jeez, was it all a dream? but then she continued, "you've come a long way just to meet me. so, keep me, honey." "you got nothing to regret. keep me, honey" -s, wish you were hhehehehere

 i miss your warm hands, i thought i could hold it forever. but i got disappointed again and again.  . i always forget things,  including the fact that everything is temporary... people, time, feeling. the atmosphere, the sky, the power. life is uncertain, we are all players and prayers to our own movie with power, we could change the genre crossing boundaries. under the skin, through the bone, to the other space. in another universe, or in another life, probably i could touch your warm hands again. i miss u so bad. meet me at my dream tonight. -s, Des 23/2020 p.s: selamat hari ibu, mbah. <3 mama kangen banget sama mbah.